Reach Your Big Dream in 10 Steps

Today’s talk is for the athletes out there – I want to talk about your big dream!  So, moms listening to the podcast, crank it up for the teenager in the back.  If you are a parent or a coach, get this in front of your athlete, especially if your athlete has big, almost impossible dream.  Now, when I say almost impossible, I mean a dream that is four out of five on the impossible scale.  Five is impossible, I want four.

Find Your Goal

The reason that I’m asking for four out of five is because if you want to get the absolute best from yourself, the best that you can possibly be, and you want to push your potential to the farthest edge you can so that you can step back and look at your sport career and go, “Oh my gosh, did I really pull that off?”

Find your goal that’s a four out of five on the impossible scale that makes you feel nervous, that you’re kind of scared of and don’t really want to say out loud because it’s too big.  You might have to do things differently in order to reach it.  You might have to think differently, train differently, and work differently.  You probably don’t know how you’re going to reach it, but when you think about that goal, it makes your heart beat fast and your brain think, “That would be so amazing!”

You probably already have this goal.  It’s probably been living deep in your heart and the back of your mind for a really long time.

Today, I’m going to give you permission to dream that big goal. But there are some caveats.  I have some requirements for you.  You athletes with these big dreams, I’m going to give you permission to dream big, but you’re not going to punish yourself for every single hiccup that happens.

Having a Big Dream Feel Really Dangerous

Whenever I go for the thing I really want, it’s like this wall builds up in front of me and my brain says, “You don’t really need that.  It’s okay.  You’re fine.  Everything’s great.  Don’t be greedy.  Don’t….,” et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

Big dreams feel really dangerous because it’s such a long way to fall.

If you fall, if you aim in the mid-range (which is where perfectionists like to hang out because then we won’t fail) then you will reach your goals.  You’ll be sort of satisfied, but you’ll know that there’s something more that you could have created.  Don’t shy away from setting that big goal.  If you truly want it, you are going to stumble.  You’re going to fail.  You’re going to fall on your face and fall on your butt over and over and over.

That is not why you’re a failure.  That’s why you’re a success – because you keep at it and you get back up.

10 Requirements for Reaching Your Big Dream

1. Be Inspired by Your Big Dream

You get back up because you are inspired by your dream, not punished by it.  When you’re punished by it, it means that every time you stumble, you feel like you’re failing, like you’re not on track, too old, your running out of time.  You’re punishing yourself because you have this big goal and you feel like you’re failing.  When you’re inspired by your big dream, your dream is the reason you get back up.  It’s the reason why you are okay with each of those little failures that helps you to become a better athlete, a better human.

2. Be Flexible

You can’t set this big dream and go, “This is how it’s going to work.  I’m going to do this level this year and this level this year, this skill, and this is going to be my progression.  Then, at this point, I’m going to,” no.  You have to be flexible.  You can’t go at something assuming you know the way to get there… unless you have already done it.  f you have already done it, you can look back and go, “This is the exact way that I get there.”

3. Stay Open-Minded

Everything important to me in my life that I have said hell or high water, I am going to make this happen, happened in a crazy roundabout way.  If I would have given up because I failed, I would never have reached it.  You have to stay open-minded otherwise you might miss your path.  It might be completely different that what you expect.  Just tell yourself – I will reach this goal, I will not give up.  I will do what I have to do to get there and I’ll be open-minded to how it’s going to present itself – then you just keep getting back up.

Up the Down Escalator

Even if all you’re doing is moving your feet and you’re trying and you’re working and you feel like you’re not getting anywhere.  It may feel like you’re going up the down escalator and you’re trying and you’re moving and you’re not getting anywhere today or this week or this month or this year, then you get to feel proud about the fact that your feet are moving, even if they’re moving backwards.  That’s when you need a “why” that’s your big “why”.  It has to be the underpinning of this.

4. Find Your “Why”

Now that you have this big goal that is so scary and exciting, you’re going to have to completely change the way you think in order to get there.  You have to have a reason.  When I interview high-level athletes, they all have a “why”.  They have a reason fresh in their mind.  It may be the way that you felt when you first did your sport when you were young.  You have to carry that with you every single day.

5. YOU Have to Want It

Whatever your why is, that reason why you showed up in the beginning, the reason why you fell in love, that has to be there.  It has to be living in your heart as you show up every single day and you work.  You don’t work hard for anybody else, but you.  You cannot want it for someone else.  You can’t want it for your coach, your parents, your sibling, or your teammate.  You have to want it for you.

6. Proving You Want It

Then, you show up to practice and competition and you prove how bad you want it, because that big “why” and that big, impossible dream are out there ready for you.  Now, when I say work hard, you are going to be the hardest worker in the group, the best teammate, the best communicator, the best human that you could possibly be every single day.  You are going to inspire people so that everybody else believes in that dream as much as you do.  You are so kind and inspiring through your pursuit of this dream, that other people want to come behind you and carry you up that mountain and help you reach that dream.

7. Reach for Your Dream, Not Perfection

There are going to be days when you cannot work the hardest in the group and your hardest work isn’t going to be as hard as somebody else, but you are going to wake up every single day and at least try to give everything.

You do not have to be perfect.

You just have to be the best teammate, the best communicator, and really go after it.

8. Be Kind to Yourself

This is probably the most important thing.  If you are going out on a tough mission, you’re going to be with yourself the entire time.  The whole journey from point A to point B, you’re going to be with you, so do you want to spend all that time with someone who’s critical and mean and telling you you’re failing and telling you your dream is too big and it’s stupid?  Or, do you want to be with someone who’s encouraging you, saying, “You’ve got this!  It’s okay.  Don’t worry.”  That’s who you want to hang out with.

If you aren’t acting like someone that you’re going to want to hang out with, you have to change that right that second and remember your “why”.

9. Use Your Voice

For some of us, the hardest thing to say is, “I need help,” or, “This doesn’t feel right.  I don’t like this.”  You have to have a voice and you have to use it because you deserve support.  You deserve your coach’s time and you deserve to have that time and energy spent on you for your goal.  You do deserve it, so ask for it.  Ask for it and then receive it.  If you feel like you don’t deserve help, you’re going to resist it and you’re not going to reach your goal.  Don’t feel like a burden.  Everybody wants you to succeed because everybody succeeds when you succeed.

I’m going to give you permission right now to be confident and kind, and receive and deserve and believe and know that you’re not a bad person.  If you want really amazing things for yourself, you’re actually even a better person because you’re inspiring all those people that are coming after you to believe that they can too.

10. Be Grateful

You are climbing this big, huge mountain, right?  Nothing in life is guaranteed.  Every single step of that climb, you have to find the good stuff, even if it’s just drudgery.  You have to find what’s getting better, what is working, who’s helping you, who you care about, and what you are grateful for in this moment in this process?  Just get a little better today, otherwise, you’re going to be so battered and bruised from that climb that eventually it’s going to take you out.  But, if you are finding gratitude every single step of the way, it’s going to open that path up for you.

So think again, what is your big dream?  Like the real one, the real big dream.  I want to hear about it.  I want you to reach out to me and I want you to tell me, “My big dream is ____,” because I want to believe that for you.  I want to believe it with you.

Who do you know that needs to hear this today?  Share it with them.  I want this message to go far and wide —

You do deserve to have a big dream and you need to go out and get it.

All right.  Thanks for listening.  We’ll see you soon.